Probably the most asked question I’ve received in my relatively short adult life is one that causes butterflies in my stomach when answering. The desire to offer a gracious response and an inner voice of caution battle, waging war.
I try to think of where this person is coming from, why they’re asking and the most encouraging way for me to respond. A way that would leave them understanding more my humanity. But not so much that I dumb myself down. Sigh. I haven’t always struck that exact balance.
The question you wonder?
“Just how do you do it all — how do you keep up with being a wife, mother, pastor’s wife, homeschooling…?”
Regardless of what’s stirring in me, I am keenly aware there’s another individual, almost always another wife and mom, who wants to know the secret. The key to holding it all together and having life just so without losing her mind and spirit in the midst. And my words have the potential to leave her feeling empowered or crushed. It’s a little weighty, ya know?
Just recently I’ve had an epiphany though — a serious ‘aha moment’ weeks ago when thinking through responding yet again to this question. God met me, and true to His nature, filled my heart with such life-giving words.
Were I asked the same question today, right now…the response would reflect lessons learned, still being learned about this life of multiple tracks and responsibilities.
The key is not holding it all together.
The key is letting go.
Letting go of trying to be God and desiring His position over my own.
Letting go of the expectation to be superwoman by other’s standards or (gulp!) my own.
Releasing the fear of failure that drives to work more and gain less.
Releasing the goal of doing and embracing the reality of being as more important.
Letting go of trying to accomplish every. single. thing. at once — too many kitchen utensils out at the same time!
Letting go of pride :: the kind that blinds into believing I’m better than ‘her’ – whoever she is at the moment.
Releasing myself from the tyranny of the urgent to accomplish the important.
Releasing negative messages, criticizing voices that say ‘you can’t do that’! when God ordains that I must.
Oh, I could go on…
Yes, there are practical considerations. I have a flow and rhythm to our days that helps tremendously in establishing a sense of order around here. Sure, growing in organizational skills cannot be ignored as a factor to our keeping heads above water.
I say with confidence though, that these helps are not primary. When I hold on to any of the above, it simply doesn’t matter if there’s a place for everything in my home or if I have a home management notebook and cleaning schedule (which to be honest, is somewhat ignored these days!).
If pride, fear of failing, unbelief about my abilities through Christ, or striving to reach unattainable goals dominates and rules my heart and spirit — I’m doomed even with the best organizational system.
So, how do I do it all?
I don’t really — that’s a myth. What is prayerfully seen and observed I hope…
is a woman who is learning to let go.
