At a recent extended family get-together, I had an interesting talk with a cousin. She and I had not been in touch directly for several years and as we caught up on life, the conversation led to the obvious topic of my rounding belly and child number five.
She asked the usual and common questions:
“Wow, how are you going to do it all? I have no idea how you do it already!”
“How many children are you going to have!?” {hmm, I’ve been wondering the same}
“Do you ever have time for yourself!?”
I was unprepared however for another statement made, albeit probably innocently; one that led to a bit of righteous indignation (I think it was righteous?) on my part.
“I wouldn’t want to live your life. No way.”
Deep breath. Another deep breath :: calm down right now self. Yes, good…good. Keep it holy.
Knowing the comment could be ignored and the topic switched, I instead chose to answer in what I hope was a testimony instead of a rebuke.
“You know, I’m living the life of my dreams. I’m not stuck in this and could do something different at any point. But I willingly chose this way and am very happy with my decision.”
I choose to be home. And even with its challenges, I appreciate the vision & direction my spouse provides for my role in our family. I did assure my now speechless cousin that this path may not be for every woman, and that many women would love the opportunity, but for a variety of reasons & life circumstances simply cannot. I am not a staunch believer in one-size-fits-all. But for me? This is my life, and I really, really enjoy it.
My little talk didn’t last long, though I probably could have expressed more thoughts. Shorter is often better and I didn’t want to deliberately offend. At the end of it all, the final words expressed were that I hope she is as happy in her life choices as I am in mine. She semi-nodded and we moved on to other topics.
*****
Lord, may I continue to find contentment in my work and vocation. Let my heart not judge unfairly the actions & choices of others, but simply seek to serve You in all areas. I give to you this day—show me your glory here in this home, in this work.
Amen.
A wonderful answer, and it will give your cousin much food for thought, she'll not soon forget it. I REJOICE when I see committed Christian couples being "fruitful". 🙂 Daniele, you are organized and calm. You have a LOVE for your Lord, children, music, books, learning. You have a healthy, loving marriage. Oh so much to pass on to the next generation! You go girl!!!!
Shirley
Daniele you are a blessing. Love your answer.
i get those comments too, about having twins and/or having 3 kids so close in age. i think people are just jealous 🙂 you gave a great and honest answer!
What a humble answer to a tough comment. I too feel like I am "living my dream". Sometimes it is good to remind ourselves that it is not everyone's dream!
The gift of "God's Gab" was certainly in your mind & mouth. I can see where the earthly response could easily have been whipped out. But you chose righteously. Good for you. You teach me, thank you.
May I borrow your saying? It would serve me well to remind myself of this especially now as I carry a burden I'm trying to let go of.